On imposter syndrome

November 3, 2015

In my day-to-day, ‘imposter syndrome’ is a phrase that comes up frequently to describe that feeling many of us have — that we’re not good enough to be where we are, that we’re fooling people into thinking that we’re better than we are. That we’re imposters.

It’s not something I’ve ever really felt while making physical objects, at least not consciously. But when I registered my business, and when I started showing at markets and craft fairs, it started to creep into my brain. For example, even though by definition I am a professional jeweler (because I’ve earned money doing it), it feels foreign to call myself a jeweler. I find that I qualify it all the time. “Oh, I’m self-trained. It’s really just a hobby.”

My imposter syndrome becomes especially fierce at shows. I look around at the other booths — especially the other jewelers’ — and I cringe. My setup feels amateurish and half-assed at best, and childish at worst. The other makers I’m showing with set up their inviting areas with practiced flair and perfect lighting…and I’m rearranging kraft-paper-covered recycled boxes and trying to get my sign to hang straight.

Here’s the thing though. I have to shut her down (and it’s absolutely a ‘she’ — the bitchiest, cattiest mean girl you’ve ever met. I shall call her Regina.) and focus on the fact that I’ve gotten into juried shows on the merits of the work I’ve done, not the way in which I display it. Otherwise, participating in those markets is seriously unfun and horrible, and that’s not how I’m out to spend time!

Missing the studio

November 2, 2015

The past two months have been absolutely insane. In my other life, I’m a web developer working for Code for America as a Fellow, and it’s been a whirlwind of conferences, illnesses, travel to my host city, travel home, travel to a wedding…lots of travel.

The end result is that my already-limited studio time has gotten cut down even further. I think since early September, I’ve only been in the studio…three times? Maybe? The last time I was in was two weeks ago and I felt rusty. Worse, I was only going in to finish a bunch of pieces as quickly as humanly possibly in preparation for an independent makers’ fair. That’s satisfying, but production is distinctly different from creation.

It does not feel good to not be in the studio. My Fellowship ends in two weeks, and while I’m definitely not looking forward to that, I have to say — I am definitely looking forward to having more time to play in the studio.

Womp-womp

November 1, 2015

I had this great thought to join some of my people in writing a thing a day in November. I was all set to tell you about my last craft market and this whole imposter syndrome idea…and then I got locked out of all my websites. All of them. I’ve pissed off the Dreamhost security system.

So while I wait for that to get resolved, I’m limited to tapping stuff out with my thumbs. It’s not the most conducive way to write, so I’ll save my story for tomorrow. Mostly, I’m posting this so that I can say I tried!

A ring for Mom

December 31, 2014

A few months back, my mom gave me a chunk of gold she’d had melted down, plus some of her older jewelry. “I’m not wearing it anymore. Do something fabulous.”

Well. *grin*

One of her pieces had a bunch of tiny diamonds. I should have taken a “before” picture, but really I destroyed that sucker before it even occurred to me.

Working with gold and diamonds sounds super luxe, doesn’t it? And it is. But it’s also stressful — I was constantly aware of how precious my materials were, in a way I’m not when I’m working silver.

Gold is also a much harder metal to work. It’s not as soft as silver and it’s more temperamental when soldering. So I had this plan to make my mom a simple gold ring with her diamonds flush-set for Christmas, and it turned out that “simple” was the wrong word!

Guys, I made that ring four times. FOUR.

The first and second times, I got a little overzealous when cutting the stone seats. I cut one too big and the second in the wrong spot. //headdesk

The third time, I managed to roll the metal too thin, and the culet poked out of the bottom of the setting.

The fourth time I forced myself to go much, much slower than before. I recast the metal, rolled it nice and thick, and cut the seats smaller than they needed to be before slooooowly enlarging them to accept each stone. And even then, I very narrowly escaped having to do it a fifth time!

The end result, though, was worth it — mom’s face when she saw it was awesome, and she showed it off to everyone!

On finding your ring size

November 28, 2014

I firmly believe that your ring size is one of those numbers that everyone should know, along with your blood type and your correct bra size (if you’re a bra-wearer, anyway). But I have a theory that because it’s so easy to try on rings (as opposed to trying on bras, which is a pain in the ass) that nobody actually knows their size. I’ve sent many people to get sized in the past year, so behold, my primer on getting your ring size!

There are a couple of ways to do this. One way or the other, though, be sure to note if your size is in US or UK units — there is a difference! The first, and simultaneously the easiest and least convenient (I think, anyway) is to go to a jewelry store and ask them to either 1) size your fingers or 2) size a ring that fits well. Any reputable jewelry store will do this for free, even if you don’t purchase something from them.

But if you feel weird walking into a store and asking for a free service without any intention of buying from them (a feeling I totally understand, by the way), there are alternatives!

My favorite method is this neat site I found way back in the day before I knew my own ring size. It’s called Find My Ringsize, and they’ll walk you through the process of sizing either with a ring you already have, or the piece-of-paper-and-a-ruler method.

The piece-of-paper-and-a-ruler method, minus the web, is another alternative. Basically, you make a paper or string ring for yourself and measure the length. You’re getting the circumference of your finger, which is then translated into your ring size by your trusty ring-making jeweler!

The last method (and nerdiest) is my last resort, because it involves math. *shudder* Plus, it can be inaccurate (but then again, so can measuring against yarn or paper). It’s this: get the diameter of a ring that fits, and use that to calculate the circumference of your finger.

These methods are neatly wrapped up in this PDF from Zales, if you want a paper reference. Thanks, Zales!

And y’know, once you know your ring size, if you want to head over to my shop…well, I won’t argue!

My Etsy challenge (and a weekly recap)

November 8, 2014

I have an Etsy shop that I’ve sporadically maintained for a few years, but I mean it when I say sporadically! For a while I just wasn’t making anything I would have wanted to sell, but lately it’s more that the photography and process of writing the listings was a thing I procrastinated on.

So this November, I decided to challenge myself. We’re getting into the holiday shopping season, so it’s as good a time as any. For the duration of the month, I’ll be posting a new item to Etsy every weekday. Or at least, that’s my goal!

So this week, I’ve posted five new items to the shop.

Tiny sterling silver stud earrings – $15

Tiny 14K rose-gold-filled stud earrings – $20

14K rose-gold-filled textured stacking rings – $40 for three

Sterling silver Orbitals pendant – $35 ($50 with an 18″ silver chain)

Sterling silver Orbitals pendant (Earth!) – $30 ($45 with an 18″ silver chain)

Some of these items are ready to ship, and some are made to order, but they’re all made with joy! (It sounds so super cheesy, but I really do love making.)

All I want to do is make!

October 28, 2014

The list of things I need to do for this site, for my Etsy shop, for my sanity (!) is long, and it’s distracting, because it’s what I’d rather be doing. But I also have to make a living. So my studio time has been cut drastically, because I got good news in the form of new clients! (ICYMI, I’m a web developer in my alternate universe.)

Which is why I find myself in my favorite coffee shop in Hayes Valley, building an app for someone who’s not me! It’s a fun challenge, but I’m having to work to not think about the things I want to be doing in the studio. Like making more teardrop rings, and playing with the pink gold I received yesterday. Or working on Christmas presents for my favorite they-were-once-Dengo ladies.

Or mastering my shiny new prong setting technique! This technique, specifically, in which one takes a chunk of tubing and using some strategic cuts, ends up with two prong settings. I’ve tried it once with some synthetic rubies, and I loved hoq efficient it was.

It’s a self-serving thing — I have four piercings in each ear and I wear a lot of studs, so being able to make them quickly and beautifully is awesome for my earring wardrobe. ;)

The Tumbler

October 13, 2014

I have discovered a new tool, my friends. I’d seen this mysterious, motorized thing in the studio’s tiny bathroom, vibrating loudly against its milk-carton constraints, but I didn’t really internalize what it was until I saw someone using it.

Guys, it’s magic. It’s a tumbler, and it polishes all the things I really hate polishing on the big & powerful polishing wheel. It also cleans up and shines things like chain, which you shouldn’t ever take to a wheel unless you feel like maybe losing a finger today. (If the chain gets caught in the wheel and whips around to hit your hands, it can do serious damage.) The tumbler is perfect for things like my Big Dipper necklace, let’s say.

To use the tumbler, you fill its plastic basin about 2/3 full with tumbler medium. I ran a little experiment in which I used all four grits of media that we have in the studio (coarse, medium, fine, stainless steel burnishing shot) and concluded that only the stainless steel shot will be useful for me in terms of polishing. The other three grits get things super clean, but not shiny.

Add just enough water to cover the jewelry and the medium, plus a squirt of dishwashing liquid. Yes, a “squirt.” That’s literally the most precise measurement I’ve been able to find. Too much and you end up with a thick head of foam, though!

Place the basin on the motorized base (that’d be what, in my case, is in the milk carton), secure it, turn it on, and let it run for an hour or so. I did time trials — 10 minutes isn’t enough, 30 minutes is ok, one hour is so far pretty perfect.

As a kid (or as an adult, because why not), you may have used a tumbler to polish stones. The same concept applies here, except the medium is different. Also, Scintillant’s tumbler is not a rotating tumbler; instead, it vibrates to move the medium around the metal. It’s called (not surprisingly), a vibratory tumbler. (Also, I’m pretty sure that the Model B in that link is exactly what I’ve been using.)

Also — I worried about damaging jewelry with the stainless shot, so I did a little research. Turns out the shot’s not going to hurt my metal, but it *could* hurt my stones, so my rule of thumb is NO STONES IN THE TUMBLER. Because why go through all the work of setting them, only to have them destroyed?

In which my Rio order arrives!

October 2, 2014

I’m going to pretend you missed me, these last two weeks that I failed so utterly at updating! I’ve got a valid excuse, I promise: I was in Texas with my mom. While I was there, I finally placed a Rio order I’ve been building for months!

It arrived a couple of days ago. Exciting!! Here’s what was in my haul, in case you’re interested:

– new saw blades! Except now that I have them, I’m being a little precious about using them.
– Beeswax. It’s useful for a multitude of things: to lubricate blades and draw plates, for coating molds when casting ingots, to play with when you’re thinking. I bought it for stone setting. It’s sticky and malleable, and the tiny little stones I am so constantly dropping will, conveniently, stay attached to the wax while I’m cutting a setting.

(It made re-setting the ruby in the photo way, way easier.)

– ALL THE BURS. Guys, I’m so psyched — I finally bought myself a set of cup burs, which are great for rounding off wire and granulation. I also replaced my worn-out 4mm setting bur.
– earring posts & chain, which are basics in my kit.
– Tons of wire! I love pink gold, so I bought some of that, plus some new stuff Rio’s carrying that’s faceted. I’m not sure about it yet, but it’s on my list of things to experiment with. Also some more bead wire, and some 18K gold twist wire at my aunt’s request. She wants stacking rings.

Of course, no sooner did my box arrive than I realized there are a couple of other things I could really stand to purchase, like more abrasive flex-shaft discs, some smaller buffs for the polishing wheel, a proper scribe, more stones, more stones, more stones….it’s never ending, really! *wink*

On saw blades.

September 16, 2014

I’m not great at sawing or piercing, and I will be the first person to tell you that.

Which is why, when I needed to buy more blades for my saw (I bought the first batch under the tutelage of my teacher in Mexico), I went to Rio Grande and bought a gross (that’s 144!) of the cheapest 3/0 blades they had.

I figured two things: I’m going to break ALL THE BLADES, ’cause it’s what I do, and how bad can they really be, if Rio is selling them?

Guys, don’t bother. Don’t buy cheap blades. They’re not worth it. Here’s why:

– They dull out quickly. I used two blades to saw through 14-gauge metal to make rings. Figure less than 8cm of sawing action, with BurLife lube, in 14ga. metal. I should *not* have gone through two blades, but they got so dull, so fast, that I was working way harder than I needed to be to cut the metal. Also, using dull blades is a great way to lose control and cut yourself. (And we’ll pretend I didn’t learn that lesson by bleeding all over the studio sink…)

– They break more easily. Any saw blade will break if it’s dull, or if you torque it the wrong way, or if you don’t relax while you’re sawing. But these guys snap if I look at them wrong. Good thing I have a boatload?

– This is the biggie (for me, anyway): THEY’RE TWISTED! Ok, not all of them. But in my batch of 144, it seems like every other blade is twisted. Which means they don’t saw in a straight line, no matter how hard you try. Like I said, I’m not great at sawing, so the first few times I used cheapie blades and couldn’t get a straightish line, I figured it was my fault. But then I realized: some of these blades are physically not straight. They won’t saw consistently no matter how hard you try.

So now I have nice, quality Laser Gold blades on order. I haven’t used these, so I’m going a little on faith and a solid customer review. Plus, to be stereotypical, they’re Swiss-made, and the Swiss know what they’re doing. I’ll let you know how it goes!